Is There Such a Thing as Real Wrestling?
I still remember the first time I heard it was fake. I was six, and on the playground at summer school. A friend and I were talking and we started talking about wrestling when another kid on the jungle gym said “Wrestling’s fake. ” This statement wrought my brain with a confusion that persisted for many years to come. This was simply impossible. How could it be fake? I see them bleed, I hear them scream, and I see them go through tables and the such. So I said the most logical response I could think of, “No it’s not,” I retorted to the boy. He said that if the wrestlers actually did those moves they would kill each other. I disregarded the claims as childish stupidity and went about my life. Throughout the years there were of course many references made to wrestling being fake. I attributed it to adult cynicism. Like how it was crazy that none of the adults believed in Santa or Magic. As I got older it became increasingly easy to see how everything was done. Through many internet sources it slowly unraveled before my eyes. It left an odd feeling in my stomach. I dreamt of going undefeated an entire career and holding every title. Soon I began to compromise. Well maybe they could have an undefeated wrestler; I just won’t hold all the titles. Maybe I’ll have one loss, after I’m a legend. Maybe a few losses, but only because they cheated. I compromised more and more until I realized I will lose when they need me to and win when they need me to. When I first found out I was afraid it would frighten me away from wrestling. I didn’t grow up watching fake wrestling. I grew up watching real wrestling. Only when I found out did it become fake. How would this affect me? How would knowing my childhood ideals of grandeur were fake affect how I saw the product that largely defined who I am. Yet every week I found myself continuing to tune in, and I found myself equally entranced by it, but in a newer way each week. I appreciated it just as much, but now in a different way. Soon I appreciated it more than I ever had. The skill it takes to do some of these moves is incredible, let alone the skill it takes for anyone to do them and tell a story with them. How to use big moves in conjunction with small moves, and vice versa. How a story began, progressed, ended, and transitioned was something I could already appreciate, and now I could even apply it to wrestling. It’s amazing really. I am in love with a product that really isn’t even the same thing I fell in love with in the first place. I was looking at from two different angles. Two different perspectives, and yet I still wanted it more than anything else. I guess it’s almost more of an accomplishment when you can go out there out there and prove yourself in that way. I mean in a sense anyone can go and be unbeatable if it was real. To go out there and be the best in a world where there will be people who try to hold you down, where you have no control over a lot of things that impact your career, where the words you speak, the way you make the subtle movements in the ring, and even the way you lose can determine how successful you can be. To live in that world and still be able to call yourself the best; that takes some doing. Now obviously everyone here loves it. We realize the athleticism, and skill it takes to do these moves properly. We know the little intricacies that make a punch a punch, and a bump a bump. We know why the little things happen. Now, why can’t everyone else? Wrestling has the worst reputation of just about anything else in the world. Somehow we got right up there with Nazi’s and pedophiles. At least that’s the way it seems. People look at us like we’re idiots when we tell them we like wrestling. Think about it. When you tell someone you like wrestling for the first time a few things can happen. First, they go “cool,” and are done with it. Two, they say “No way, me too,” and you have a new friend. Three, they go “You know wrestling’s fake right?” or some variation of that phrase. They say it like it’s the first time we’ve heard it in our lives. And the way they say it. . That condescending tone in their voice. Like they know some big secret. Like they figured it out by themselves. They tell how it looks so fake, and how dumb it is. Let’s face it most of the people who criticize it for being so “obviously fake” wouldn’t have a damn clue if they didn’t hear it on TV or if daddy hadn’t told them when they were still watching Barney at eight in the morning. Wrestling’s been worked for a long time, but there were certain circumstances where they would just wrestle. This was in the early 1900’s. So let’s say the modern professional wrestling industry started with Orville Brown becoming the first NWA Champion in 1948. In that case 90% of people who were not involved with the wrestling business had no idea it was fake for a good 45 years. Explain that jackasses. We know all this, and yet when we try to explain it we start to sound like idiots. We try to tell them how much skill it takes to lift a 250-pound man, then they say that the other person jumps. Well yeah they do, but what exactly is the trick to holding them there? We try and try to explain to make these people understand how hard it is, but they have that one trump card that will halt almost any argument regarding it. They simply say “Well it’s fake,” and they’re right. Once they pull that crap it’s almost impossible to come back from it. It’s hard to sound convincing telling someone how tough something is when you admit it’s fake. And if you deny it’s fake you just sound like a doofus. Then there’s that word. “Fake,” some would argue just how accurate of a description this is. We know the outcomes are determined, therefore it’s fake. Right? Well should we run down the list of injuries these people have that suggest otherwise. Hulk Hogan doesn’t have a plastic hip because it’s “fake. ” Shawn didn’t leave the business for four years because it’s “fake. ” Mick Foley isn’t missing half of his ear, most of his teeth, and can’t hardly walk because it’s “fake. ” Chris Benoit did not kill his family because it’s “fake. ” The dangers are real. They are clear, and they are present. They aren’t landing a trampoline. The grimace on their faces when they land is more real than you know. Try and see how many kids have been permanently disabled because they were screwing around in their backyard. There is always a chance that something will go wrong, and when you put on a show 300 days out of the year something is bound too. Now before I move onto the next section I must ask people to refrain from using the Owen hart tragedy as an example of how wrestling isn’t “fake,” the accident had nothing to do with a match. While we’re on that subject anyway, I would like to remind everyone that there are people out there who think Eddie Guerrero and Owen Hart are sipping Pina Coladas on a beach somewhere. That’s part of the extent of the stigma wresting has. Watching wrestling with someone like that is even worse. I was over at a friend’s house, and he had a friend over, and that friend’s clingy girlfriend was there. She does not like wrestling. I was really the only wrestling fan in the room, but the other guys they at least understood. They were cool. So I tell my friend SmackDown is about to come on. He says I can I change the channel. I walk over to the TV. and she asks “What are you gonna watch?,” I of course answer, “Wrestling. ” That elicited this response, “Ugh, oh my God. ” She’s lucky she’s a friend’s girlfriend or she’d have ran out of teeth. The whole time I’m watching she won’t shut up. Benjamin cuts a promo. “Graham how long does it take the wrestlers to memorize there lines, oh my god he didn’t even touch him, this is so fake. ” This is coming from a girl who always has her nose either stuck in a Twilight book, or some half assed manga. I’ve got my fantasy world, and she’s got hers. Yet for some reason she’s got to declare war. It really does amaze me how disrespectful people can be for no reason. Calling them actors, saying there moves couldn’t hurt anyone. You tell someone you watch wrestling, and they go “Why don’t you watch UFC or something like that?” Show of hands, how many of you watch MMA in addition to wrestling. Most of you, at least occasionally. And half the people who say that can’t tell me what MMA stands for. Hell this site reports MMA news, which I don’t really understand, but I don’t question it either. Don’t get me wrong I respect the hell out of most MMA fighters. If you take out all the loudmouth little punks who haven’t done anything there whole lives except get drunk and get in street fights then you have some of the greatest athletes in the world. I can’t remember who said it, but I read once that a wrestler said “For a non-believer no explanation will do, and for a believer no explanation is needed. ” Where does that leave us. We obviously aren’t believers, because we know wrestling’s a work, but you can’t call us non-believers, because we love this sport. Yeah, I call it a sport. I don’t care what Vince calls it, this is the toughest thing on the planet to do. Lawrence Taylor said after he wrestled Bam Bam Bigelow that wrestling would be like playing a football game every night, and that’s exactly what they do. I don’t know really what the reason is that I love it. The talent, the moves, the characters, the story, the fans cheering. I can’t explain it. People tell us it’s fake, and we don’t care. As conceited as it sounds I think in a sense it’s jealousy. You have actors who play characters on Lost, and then those actors go on Dancing with the Stars. Not the characters from Lost, the actors. When you watch wrestling you aren’t watching actors. You are watching the very same people you see walking down the street. That’s what makes it real, that’s what makes ours a uniquely different subculture. Different from any Star Trek cult, or comic book convention, or D&D play session. You can’t last in our world without living in it. You hear the passion with which some of these veterans talk about it, and that’s real passion. They mean every word of it. It’s got to be some kind of magic. It’s what entranced us as children, and made us analyze as adults. We will continue to ask for a “Hell Yeah,” It’s what makes us ask if you can smell what we’re cooking, it’s what will always make us twirl our wrists and cup our ears, and leg drop a couch cushion in our living room, and why we will forever strut, style, profile, and WOOOOOOOOOOO at the top of our lungs until the day we die. We are wrestling fans, and we always will be. We have nothing to be ashamed of we only have something for others to be jealous of.